september 13, 12:10 am
it's been a while since i last wrote an entry here la kse ako tym! actually, i ran out of isp credits (tama ba) na kaya i just saved this ewan sa computer! my mind is just filled with so many thoughts and questions ryt no and i feel like letting it out tlga...i did, with kavibes pero not all! no one reads my xanga na these days so it really wouldn't hurt if i let it all out here!
For starters---(hahaha...ano un?!?) Ang sarap at the same time hirap ng walang lovelife! Everyday, I see 3 kinds of people. 1) HAPPY AND CONTENTED WITH THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER 2) ONE WORD (SAWI) at confused sa lovelife!3) SINGLE AND HAPPY (walang lovelife at all) --ppol like me! BELIEVE ME!anyway...when i'm with pipol under #1, TAO LANG AKO! ofcourse, I feel dn sumhw ung feeling nanaman na, "kelan kaya ako?" or ung "sana dumating na!" but anyway, I get over it dn after mga, wut, 30 mins?!? hehe..cympre kse nkkasama ko na cla #2 pipol!!!!! kaya aiun, thankful ako dhil ako msaya n wala problema!!! cla #3 pipol?!? edi aiun, ksama kong naaawa dun sa mga malungkot pero deep inside, di mapigilan sarili na, "shit, swerte ko!" anyway...walang lovelife... kaya bawat minuto, nag-iiba inspirasyon at crush...magulo pero at least, iba't iba man, they leave me smiling!!! un ung msarap dun eh! wla kang iicpn na sad part kse crush lng un, ano ba namang sakit ang iniwan sayo nun eh di mo naman minahal un?!? so, ur left with super daming klig memories! minsan nga, face lng naman nya lumalabas sa icp mo, ngiti mo parang kinasal ka na!!! and for me, ang saya tlga kse im always looking forward for this particular day every week!!! haha, "my lovelife day"! pang isahang araw lang pero anyway,, who cares?? atleast khet isang araw lng sa isang linggo buhay ung puso mo noh!! hahahahaahha!! tsae! corny! haaaay...SAD PART!---malas mo pg ngkaron ka na ng taong minhal mo na sinaktan ka ng sbra b4! sa mga gn2ng pnahon kse na wala kang luvlyf..SENSITIVE ka! kaya aiun, you experience nga ung "SPONTANEOUS RECOVERY" leche! aiun,,,so u rili hve 2 do almost everything para lng makalimutan mo un! .......................................nagiicp...........................................................................parin................................
NEXT ang sarap ilabas lahat! pero minsan kse, saken, mas nkakalimutan ko ung isang bagay pg sakin lng and hndi ko shnshare kse tendency is pg alm na ng mga tao, they'd remind you of it sumhw! basta!!! BEFORE, wla akong problema, makita ko lng 2ng isang tao toh or anything about this person, burado agad lhat ng galit ko dun sa taong nanakit sakin! problem is, la na ko naffeel sa person kaya balik prin ng balik galit ko k tao! gets?!?
LAST! (lines from a song that would explain evrything bout me lately...)
~tonight, it's been a year, we've met each other here, here i am all alone as thoughts of you go on
--I loveD you, you didn't feel the same
--sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me TRULY loved me
--i learned a while ago that kind of thing never happens for me
--and so i go around and just PRETEND LOVING LIFE FOR ME
--I play the circus clown around my friends Make them laugh and they won't see
--So I put on my make-up Put a smile on my face And if anyone asks me Everything is okay I’m laughing cause no one Knows the joke is on me Cause I’m dying inside With my pride and a smile
--THEN I REALIZED DREAMS COME TRUE AREN'T FOR GIRLS LIKE ME
--SO I GO AROUND WITH MY HEAD UP LIKE IT AIN'T NO THING
--AND WHEN THE BOYS AROUND ARE WITH MY FRIENDS IM INTO OTHER THINGS
***IT'S NOT AN EASY THING TO DO, SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO FACE THE TRUTH IT'S NOT THE LIFE THAT I WOULD CHOOSE BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I DO IF HE DON'T LOVE ME, IF HE DON'T WANT ME, I'M NOT ABOUT TO SIT AROUND, I'LL LET MYSELF GO***
---I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly 'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry
LAST NA TALAGA After a year...I'm still not ready to love again...after that last "break down", I never had a real lovelife again.. I never felt that strong feeling again! wala nman kaseng dumadating na tama eh!!! grrrr... anyway...i'm not rushing!!! I can wait! I swear!!! ---(but not too long)................................................................................................................................. Anyway...I really need someone to talk to about this that would really listen eh busy lhat ng pwde ko mkausap ngaun! so aiun...maybe after a week?!? but i hope im over it na by that tym!!! |